success

So, I found out about something called One Little Word from a blog that I really like and decided to give it a go. I thought at first that the word I would choose would be enjoy...which is something that I decided would be a focus for me this school year (my saying was, "enjoy the whole process"). It is a good thing for me to think about, except that it just hasn't been strong enough to really change much about my work habits. I have still been working way too much and feeling way too much anxiety. After several conversations with my husband, the one most poignant occurring on our fifth year wedding anniversary, I discovered that I have a really distorted view of success.

So, with the suggestion of my husband, (he said to pick failure, which is also very fitting since I do see that I often fear this the most) I choose the word success. I will be thinking on this one little word and all that it means as until New Years. I love this concept of having a singular focus and then seeing all the dimensions it will inevitably take as the year progresses. Today, succes for me, is cleaning my whole house and getting rid of things I don't need. Today, success is waking up early and hitting the farmer's market with my best friend and husband and not giving a second thought to the work I know I will get done. Success, today, are my plans to cook a delicious meal and have my family over....again, leaving the work I know I will do and get done until tomorrow.

I usually end up working both of my days off and I just can't do that all the time. Success used to mean making other people happy and pleased with me. Success used to mean living up to the expectations (and perceived expectations) of others. These next couple of months I am choosing to think differently.

Bagels

HERE is the recipe I used to make bagels this week. It is different from an old faithful recipe that I really loved but that I lost to a dead link on the internet. This one is great, straightforward, and simple. I did not use the malt syrup that the recipe calls for, instead I used honey and it seemed to work just fine. I topped mine with fresh minced garlic, kosher salt, some I made with several different kinds of seeds, some I made with rosemary, salt, and garlic, and a few I made cinnamon and sugar (although I prefer the savory over the sweet).

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I did. I will definitely learn my lesson by printing this little baby out so that I have it no matter what!

Fresh Tomato, Green Pepper (and Cucumber) Salad

School is out and I am back in action around the house. Goal for this coming school year is to still do things I enjoy doing despite the long hours I put in..we'll see. For now, no worrying about it, just going to enjoy it and play as hard as I worked this school year...WATCH OUT!

So far I have been cleaning and reorganizing and rearranging and LOVE IT! I donated my hair to Locks of Love so I have a spiffy new haircut, which was free by the way because I let a Tricochi student use my head in order to take her test over cutting long hair into layers...her first time ever cutting a real person's hair and she did such a good job! I had a dentist appointment today and am CAVITY FREE!! SUCH GOOD NEWS BECAUSE I HAVE A HISTORY WITH LOTS OF DENTAL WORK, UGH! AND, tomorrow I am going with my mother-in-law for a manicure and pedicure through an awesome deal on Groupon.

Ok, enough of my gushing about how happy I am to be on vacation...Here's the recipe I made today for lunch. I am not sure where I got this recipe. I had the card in my recipe box and pulled it out while going through my recipes to menu plan this summer. Here it is!

2 large tomatoes, chopped into small pieces
3 large cloves of garlic, minced
2 cucumbers, chopped into small pieces
1 TB extra virgin olive oil
2 TB red wine vinegar
1 Chopped green pepper, chopped into small pieces
1 Red Onion (optional) **I didn't have it on hand or else I would have added it for sure!
Seasonings to taste: salt, pepper, Italian herbs


Next up....Bagels! So sad that my usual recipe's link died. I found another recipe that I am going to try today.

Going to crash a Diddy party in disguise....

A little taste of a song I am enjoying off the newest Weezer album:

You don't keep house and I'm a slob
You're freakin' out cause I can't keep a job
We don't update our blogs
We are Trainwrecks


This song just cracks me up because it describes how things have been going so far this year...and really, in the end, does any of it really matter, nope. So, who cares if our place is messy or I haven't been on blogger or tweeted....

I am really pumped to be turning 27 tomorrow. I spent this weekend feeling really peaceful and content. My job is tough, but rewarding. The reason I have been so stressed is completely my own fault. I am learning how to deal...learning how to stop this need to always please and to stop being so concerned that I am messing up. I have had a rough few months (and all of last year) because I have not let go of these things. I have tried to hold onto things so tightly and that just doesn't work. I need to wake up, do my best, and leave it at that. I know how hard I work and that's all I can do. I have tried to force things and have worried over things waaaaaaaay too much and it has not brought me much gain nor peace/happiness. If I get a bad observation, or upset someone, what is the worst that could happen? It sounds insane, but I have to think these kinds of things through. My worst fear is disappointing someone who cares about me/believes in. I have to start living my life and not be so afraid of these kinds of things.

I have been putting myself and the people close to me through craziness and I am just not going to do it anymore! This next year is going to rock!

Bagels

Yay! Yay! YAY! I made bagels for the first time this morning!!

Check out this link for a great recipe.

I tried to post some great videos from E-How.com, however, I couldn't quite figure it out...so, if you need the visual, like I did, you can search on E-How.

I am super excited because bagels are so delicious and I never thought I could make them! I topped mine with a variety of things---garlic, salt, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, caraway seeds, and cinnamon and sugar. The recipe makes 10 and I read that if you do not boil the bagels (which I did), you can freeze the dough, let rise, and then bake. This really cuts down on the time it takes, which it is rather involved, but TOTALLY worth it!!

Well, time to relax a little and clean up a bit before Tom's family comes over. Tonight, we are celebrating my mother-in-law's birthday at an awesome pot sticker house in bridgeport!!

Happy Weekend to all!!