November 7, 2010

Going to crash a Diddy party in disguise....

A little taste of a song I am enjoying off the newest Weezer album:

You don't keep house and I'm a slob
You're freakin' out cause I can't keep a job
We don't update our blogs
We are Trainwrecks

This song just cracks me up because it describes how things have been going so far this year...and really, in the end, does any of it really matter, nope. So, who cares if our place is messy or I haven't been on blogger or tweeted....

I am really pumped to be turning 27 tomorrow. I spent this weekend feeling really peaceful and content. My job is tough, but rewarding. The reason I have been so stressed is completely my own fault. I am learning how to deal...learning how to stop this need to always please and to stop being so concerned that I am messing up. I have had a rough few months (and all of last year) because I have not let go of these things. I have tried to hold onto things so tightly and that just doesn't work. I need to wake up, do my best, and leave it at that. I know how hard I work and that's all I can do. I have tried to force things and have worried over things waaaaaaaay too much and it has not brought me much gain nor peace/happiness. If I get a bad observation, or upset someone, what is the worst that could happen? It sounds insane, but I have to think these kinds of things through. My worst fear is disappointing someone who cares about me/believes in. I have to start living my life and not be so afraid of these kinds of things.

I have been putting myself and the people close to me through craziness and I am just not going to do it anymore! This next year is going to rock!