April 10, 2010

ooooo weeeee! what's up with that, what's up with that?!

Well, I have realized that this year, for me, has been all about learning the hard way. I spent the first half of my break with family, but I was halfway miserable most of the time. It was a really hard thing for me for some reason. I jumped right out of my hectic life into my hometown and I found that I was easily irritated and not to mention exhausted. I wanted to make sure to spend quality time with my family, but I was just so spent. I fought it until I just became a big grump and had to give in and stay at my mom's and sleep. I thought I had rested, but my body thought otherwise.

I got back, had a productive day--writing thank you cards, doing a bit of organizing, blogging, ate dinner with my hubby, did my usual bedtime routine which includes flossing my teeth and woke up in the middle of the night with SERIOUS tooth/gum pain and an ENORMOUS migraine. Boy, I was ticked. I had plans of organizing the office, baking and cooking at least seven new recipes, cleaning the whole house (including mopping with my brand new mop head), making this container to grow tomatoes in, but all to no avail.

My body was ticked off and I spent the rest of Tuesday, all of Wednesday, all of Thursday, and most of Friday in serious, miserable pain. Nothing helped to relieve the pain. Toothaches and migraine combos are the absolute worst. I would have much rather birthed triplets than deal with it (i think??). BUT, I refused to go to the dentist until Friday when they couldn't get me in until 2:00. The main reason I didn't want to go is due to finances, but I finally got in through my thick brain that I had to go...there was no other option...nothing was working for me. And I am so thankful I went. The dentist was wonderful. She examined my tooth and is going to give me a partial root canal in two weeks and then finish it in September, when hopefully I will have some kind of insurance. It turned out to not be so bad...even the bill. I just have to get through the next two weeks...the antibiotic and pain medicines she gave are miracle drugs and make me feel like nothing is even wrong, so thankfully, it won't be so bad!

All this to say that last spring break, when I finally took a moment to relax, I ended up with a crazy fever/rash that made me look like a sun-burned lobster for three days. I slept SO much and thought I was going to die.

Tom pointed this out to me---that I just go, go, go through the school year and then when I finally have a break that is longer than the weekend, my body just screams and yells and punishes me in very creative ways. I am promising myself that when school starts back, no matter what, I WILL rest and take a little time, even for just five minutes a day to relax. I used to think knitting was my way to relax, but too often I use it as another chance to be productive...to make something for someone. I always have a project that I am working on for someone else. I rarely knit to just knit.

To prove that I am FOR REAL about this commitment to relaxing I am going to read this book called, Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton. I found it in a box of my sister's books while I was visiting my mom and I am going to give it a whirl. In all seriousness, I have learned that having a day off from work does not equal rest if I am constantly thinking about work, planning, grading, obsessing. I am going to try to learn to rest my mind.


Jessica Louise said...

Crazy about your tooth. I hate your week got all mixed up with that. I saw your mom today (at work) and she told me about the tooth stuff. ouch :( glad you have meds though...

I hope tomorrow is fun and restful for you. Please allow yourself time to enjoy! I agree with Tom...you are a go-getter in the strongest sense of the word. I feel like "balance" is such a hard thing to find when work is overwhelming.
Remember that you are loved unconditionally by lots of people...so be a little "selfish" once in awhile. k? ;)

That Spoonful said...

Thanks, Jess!

Holly said...

That stinks!! I'm glad you have Tom around to help you see your patterns and encourage you to start new habits. Tough but good lesson. Hope your tooth is still feeling ok.

That Spoonful said...

Thanks, Holly! I am feeling much better. How are things going with you guys? Getting ready for the summer?! Any plans yet? Miss you guys.